I read this book because a relative shared with me that this may have been the best book he ever read. However, I was thinking as I read All the Light We Cannot See that I just might not be smart enough to fully appreciate this book. After finishing it and reading some reviews online this morning, I can conclude with 100% certainty that I am not smart enough to fully appreciate this book.
All the Light We Cannot See is a book centered around the life stories of two characters during WW2: Marie-Laure and Werner. These two children/teenagers could not be any more different. Marie-Laure is French and blind. Werner, a German orphan, is obsessed with science, machines, and ponders questions that make my head hurt. The story is told in a back and forth manner (that honestly I found to be very confusing). It alternates chapters (very short chapters) between Marie-Laure and Werner but also between time periods (and it was this that I found to be hard to keep up with). The basic story line is simple: Marie-Laure, after having lost her father, her uncle, and her uncle's care-taker is trying to stay alive on her own and not captured or killed by the Germans while Werner, a brilliant mind, is working for Hitler to locate and kill the Resistance.
There is a sub-plot, which the reviewers I read this morning seemed to not even touch on, making me wonder if I made too big of a deal out of it while I was reading, where Marie-Laure's father attempts to protect a very rare stone--The Sea of Flames. It is a beautiful blue diamond that France is trying to protect at a time when the Germans are taking jewels and art from anywhere they can find them and claiming them as their own. Marie-Laure's father, a key master for the Museum of Natural History in Paris, is given a jewel to protect when then Germans begin to invade. There are four stones: one original and three copies. The men given stones have no idea if the one in their possession is a fake or the original. They are simply to act as though they have the real thing and to protect it from being taken at all costs. There is a legend associated with this stone. Whoever possesses it shall live forever, but their friends and loved ones are in serious danger and bad things will happen to them. Reinhold von Rumpel, a German who is working to collect the precious treasures that the Germans capture, wants this stone (because he is very ill and knows that it's his only chance to stat alive) and begins a search for it. He eventually crosses paths with Marie-Laure thinking that she must know the location of the jewel since her father was the key master for the museum that housed this treasure. What he did not know was how clever Marie-Laure's father was about concealing the stone he was entrusted to protect. At about the same time that von Rompel finds Marie-Laure, Werner does too and finally the stories, for a brief moment, converge before separating again. I wished that these two had had more time together, but I bet I am not the only reader who feels this way. I'm sure that Doerr was very deliberate in his creation of this part of the story.
This certainly sounds like an interesting story, but I was weighted down by the language of the story, the exact language that Doerr is praised for. I am a straight-forward kind of reader. I don't enjoy poetry for this very reason--just cut to the chase and tell me what's on your mind. I don't want to wade through heavy language and this is just about all I got from Doerr until about the last 100 pages. And honestly, the last 100 pages were my favorites.
I was also bogged down by the title and trying to figure out exactly what it meant. There are so many references to light from Werner and there's the obvious light connection to Marie-Laure (in that she can't see light) but the one interpretation that I read this morning comes from the author himself (so it must be right) that the "light" is really the lives and stories of all of the people impacted by WW2. We will never fully know the stories of everyone touched by that war, yet they were there and they all have important stories to tell. Marie-Laure and Werner are just two of the very many. Marie-Laure and Werner are two of the most unique WW2 characters I have read about to date. They both did what they had to do each day in order to survive an unthinkable hell and while I'd like to say that they both survived, I can't. I also loved that the last few pages were devoted to the characters who did survive and they detailed their lives after the war and how they persevered. It just drives home the idea that the war didn't steal their spirit or their desire for happy, productive lives. The Germans took a lot from them, but never their spirit.
I don't think this is an easy read, nor do I think it is a book you should ever toss in your beach bag. You have to have a quiet place with no distractions while you read this one. It's heavy and figurative and everything you'd expect from an award winning author. But, if that's your thing, you should read it. The 12,000 plus reviewers on Amazon.com alone loved it. And a few, like me, appreciated it for what it is and are glad that we read it, but are moving on to something more straightforward.
Happy reading, everyone!
-Dodie
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Monday, May 11, 2015
#20: The Liar by Nora Roberts
The Liar is a book with a premise that is almost as frightening as Gone Girl. The main character, Shelby Foxworth, loses her husband in a mysterious boating accident. When she begins to deal with paperwork and such after his death, she realizes that they are hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, about to lose their house, cars, and furniture (well--really everything), and she's left to deal with it all along with raising and caring for their 3 year old daughter, Callie. So, Shelby rolls up her sleeves, digs in, and starts making some tough decisions that chop away at the debt. And, after a bit, she heads home and starts to rely on her family for the support she can't find anywhere else. Along the way on the road to recovery, Shelby realizes that she never really know her husband at all. He was, in fact, a total liar and in addition to the debt she's dealing with, she is now fearing for her life.
Like most Nora Roberts books, Shelby, Calllie, and all of the other characters you meet in this novel are unforgettable. They are so clearly developed you can hear them talking to you as their story unfolds. This book is a bit over 500 pages, but it went by so fast I never realized that I had read 500+ pages until I was almost finished. I wished as I was reading that I had saved this particular book for the beach this summer. It could be devoured in one day by the ocean with no problem. Oh well.
This book does challenge the idea of how well we really know the people we live with and chose to make a life with. While I think I know Rob better than I know myself, it makes me worry for my girls and makes me hope that they both find some nice boys somewhere and get to really know them before they make any long term commitments. And I guess I should continue to warn them against being so impressed by "things." Richard wasn't quite as crazy as Amy in Gone Girl, but he was close. Luckily, he is fictional. But as I always say, if someone can think it up to write a book about it, someone could easily act out the story in real-life. Sadly, I'd put money on someone already having lived Richard's life. And poor Shelby's and Callie's, too.
This is a good one--a bit romantic and a bit mysterious. I think it would be a good made for TV movie. Read it from your beach chair and decide for yourself!
Happy reading!
-Dodie
Like most Nora Roberts books, Shelby, Calllie, and all of the other characters you meet in this novel are unforgettable. They are so clearly developed you can hear them talking to you as their story unfolds. This book is a bit over 500 pages, but it went by so fast I never realized that I had read 500+ pages until I was almost finished. I wished as I was reading that I had saved this particular book for the beach this summer. It could be devoured in one day by the ocean with no problem. Oh well.
This book does challenge the idea of how well we really know the people we live with and chose to make a life with. While I think I know Rob better than I know myself, it makes me worry for my girls and makes me hope that they both find some nice boys somewhere and get to really know them before they make any long term commitments. And I guess I should continue to warn them against being so impressed by "things." Richard wasn't quite as crazy as Amy in Gone Girl, but he was close. Luckily, he is fictional. But as I always say, if someone can think it up to write a book about it, someone could easily act out the story in real-life. Sadly, I'd put money on someone already having lived Richard's life. And poor Shelby's and Callie's, too.
This is a good one--a bit romantic and a bit mysterious. I think it would be a good made for TV movie. Read it from your beach chair and decide for yourself!
Happy reading!
-Dodie
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
#19: Covet by J.R.Ward
The girls and I, along with my mother in law and Rob's cousin, spent spring break this year in New York City. One night during our visit, we spent the evening with friends of my husband's cousin, drinking delicious drinks and enjoying great conversation before dinner. During this conversation, it came to my attention that Steve, my husband's cousin, has a dear friend who writes "vampire stories" for teenagers. Being a huge fan of the Twilight books, I was intrigued and asked for more information. She writes under a pen name, I was told, but to google J.R. Ward. I did one better--I searched Amazon and ordered a book right there on the spot (I love my smart phone).
What I did not do, and I blame the champagne for this one, was to closely read the summary of the book before clicking the Order Now button. Had I done so, I would've realized that the book I ordered, Covet, was not from her vampire series, but is instead the first book in her Fallen Angels series. Oops. Oh well.
Covet is the first book in a series of seven dark novels about the struggle between good and evil here on Earth. In this book, Jim Heron (a character that will appear in the next six books as well) works construction and one day suffers a terrible accident, after which time he learns that he is a Fallen Angel and will spend his days searching for six people (who are each prone to one of the seven deadly sins) who are at a crossroads in their lives. It is Jim's job to get them to choose good over evil so that evil will not take over Earth. I have to admit that I really like the premise behind this series of books. I have wanted good to triumph over evil for years!
What was not to my taste was how "dark" this book was in places. Too much leather, too much black. Not for me. During the conversation that led to me learning about J.R.Ward, it came up that her readers are almost cult-ish in their following of the vampire series of books. Apparently they dress the part and transform themselves into characters from the books. This was intriguing to think about and was part of the reason I read the book--I had to see what all of the fuss was about. Now I know. The story was a page-turner, don't get me wrong, and it was a great change of pace from the sunshine and rainbow stories I sometimes read. But it was dark and scary and demonic. And while I do want to know what happens to Jim and if he succeeds in his quest, I am not sure that I will ever read another one of these stories. They, quite simply, are just not me. And I'm OK with that. But, if you are into this sort of thing, these stories will make you happy, I am sure of it. The characters are awesome (Devina will make you shiver for sure!) and are very carefully developed. This is in no way a shoddy written story--quite the opposite, really. This doesn't surprise me at all either. I have never met a single friend of Steve's who isn't positively brilliant and wildly successful. And while I haven't met J.R. Ward, I can only imagine from reading her book that she is both of these, and then some.
I did take time this afternoon to google the series of books by Ward that I was supposed to read. They are a series called The Black Dagger Brotherhood, if anyone is interested. I even went so far as to read the first chapter of the first book online. Much like Covet, the series is dark and while I like vampires and werewolves, apparently I like the sweet romantic ones found in Forks. Not the ones created by Ward. Again, this is not her fault; this is all about personal preference. But, if you have a preference for these sorts of stories, I can only imagine that they are well-written and worth a read.
Happy reading everyone!
-Dodie
What I did not do, and I blame the champagne for this one, was to closely read the summary of the book before clicking the Order Now button. Had I done so, I would've realized that the book I ordered, Covet, was not from her vampire series, but is instead the first book in her Fallen Angels series. Oops. Oh well.
Covet is the first book in a series of seven dark novels about the struggle between good and evil here on Earth. In this book, Jim Heron (a character that will appear in the next six books as well) works construction and one day suffers a terrible accident, after which time he learns that he is a Fallen Angel and will spend his days searching for six people (who are each prone to one of the seven deadly sins) who are at a crossroads in their lives. It is Jim's job to get them to choose good over evil so that evil will not take over Earth. I have to admit that I really like the premise behind this series of books. I have wanted good to triumph over evil for years!
What was not to my taste was how "dark" this book was in places. Too much leather, too much black. Not for me. During the conversation that led to me learning about J.R.Ward, it came up that her readers are almost cult-ish in their following of the vampire series of books. Apparently they dress the part and transform themselves into characters from the books. This was intriguing to think about and was part of the reason I read the book--I had to see what all of the fuss was about. Now I know. The story was a page-turner, don't get me wrong, and it was a great change of pace from the sunshine and rainbow stories I sometimes read. But it was dark and scary and demonic. And while I do want to know what happens to Jim and if he succeeds in his quest, I am not sure that I will ever read another one of these stories. They, quite simply, are just not me. And I'm OK with that. But, if you are into this sort of thing, these stories will make you happy, I am sure of it. The characters are awesome (Devina will make you shiver for sure!) and are very carefully developed. This is in no way a shoddy written story--quite the opposite, really. This doesn't surprise me at all either. I have never met a single friend of Steve's who isn't positively brilliant and wildly successful. And while I haven't met J.R. Ward, I can only imagine from reading her book that she is both of these, and then some.
I did take time this afternoon to google the series of books by Ward that I was supposed to read. They are a series called The Black Dagger Brotherhood, if anyone is interested. I even went so far as to read the first chapter of the first book online. Much like Covet, the series is dark and while I like vampires and werewolves, apparently I like the sweet romantic ones found in Forks. Not the ones created by Ward. Again, this is not her fault; this is all about personal preference. But, if you have a preference for these sorts of stories, I can only imagine that they are well-written and worth a read.
Happy reading everyone!
-Dodie
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
#18: I Think I Love You by Allison Pearson
As we waited for the train to leave NYC this past spring break, I had a long time to look over the bookshelves in the owner's lounge at our hotel. I stumbled across I Think I Love You and it came home with me on the train.
It is the story of Petra and Sharon, two die-hard David Cassidy fans. Yes--David Cassidy from The Partridge Family. (I was a child in the 70's--this sort of story appeals to me. Don't judge. ) Apparently, or at least according to the Afterword, this book is loosely based on a real life interview Pearson had with David Cassidy once upon a time. Honestly, it's a brilliant idea.
The book is split into two parts: Petra's teenage life before she sees Cassidy's farewell concert in London and her adult life once she discovers a secret her mother has hidden from her for 20 some years. It is a secret that ultimately changes her life--for the better. And yes it has everything to do with Davis Cassidy. No--he is not her father or brother or anything weird like that.
I will admit that at times this book was a bit tiresome in the first part. As a 43 year old American mother of two, it's hard to relate to two 13 year old Welsh girls from the 70's. But, the second part of the book, when Petra is married, soon to be divorced, and a mother of a teenage girl, I was able to totally relate and the book became hard to put down. The last chapter is brilliant. It is what every woman hopes she might some day hear from the man who loves her.
Overall, this was a great read. I am very glad I scanned the bookshelves in the hotel while we waited for the train.
Happy reading everyone!
-Dodie
It is the story of Petra and Sharon, two die-hard David Cassidy fans. Yes--David Cassidy from The Partridge Family. (I was a child in the 70's--this sort of story appeals to me. Don't judge. ) Apparently, or at least according to the Afterword, this book is loosely based on a real life interview Pearson had with David Cassidy once upon a time. Honestly, it's a brilliant idea.
The book is split into two parts: Petra's teenage life before she sees Cassidy's farewell concert in London and her adult life once she discovers a secret her mother has hidden from her for 20 some years. It is a secret that ultimately changes her life--for the better. And yes it has everything to do with Davis Cassidy. No--he is not her father or brother or anything weird like that.
I will admit that at times this book was a bit tiresome in the first part. As a 43 year old American mother of two, it's hard to relate to two 13 year old Welsh girls from the 70's. But, the second part of the book, when Petra is married, soon to be divorced, and a mother of a teenage girl, I was able to totally relate and the book became hard to put down. The last chapter is brilliant. It is what every woman hopes she might some day hear from the man who loves her.
Overall, this was a great read. I am very glad I scanned the bookshelves in the hotel while we waited for the train.
Happy reading everyone!
-Dodie
#16 and #17: The Julian Chapter: A Wonder Story & Pluto: A Wonder Story by R.J. Palacio
I absolutely loved reading Wonder last year. The story was beautifully crafted and it truly touched my heart. I was delighted that Palacio capitalized on Wonder's popularity to create a few additions to her story in the form of these additional "chapters."
I read "The Julian Chapter" on the train to NYC during spring break. My youngest daughter, who read Wonder for a school project last year was appalled that I would read anything about Julian. The truth is, I was surprised at myself. Julian is a hard character to like, but I can assure you that when you finish reading his chapter, and you hear his side of the story and what he has learned from his mistakes, you will like him, maybe even a lot!
I read "Pluto" on the way home from NYC and while it was a cute recollection of Auggie told from the point of view of his oldest friend Christopher, I was not touched or moved by this chapter. It was just a cute story. Regardless, as a lover of sequels, I had to read these additional chapters and will most certainly download "Shingaling" this summer, which is Charlotte's story. I liked Charlotte. She should most certainly tell a good story.
Happy reading everyone!
-Dodie
I read "The Julian Chapter" on the train to NYC during spring break. My youngest daughter, who read Wonder for a school project last year was appalled that I would read anything about Julian. The truth is, I was surprised at myself. Julian is a hard character to like, but I can assure you that when you finish reading his chapter, and you hear his side of the story and what he has learned from his mistakes, you will like him, maybe even a lot!
I read "Pluto" on the way home from NYC and while it was a cute recollection of Auggie told from the point of view of his oldest friend Christopher, I was not touched or moved by this chapter. It was just a cute story. Regardless, as a lover of sequels, I had to read these additional chapters and will most certainly download "Shingaling" this summer, which is Charlotte's story. I liked Charlotte. She should most certainly tell a good story.
Happy reading everyone!
-Dodie
#15: Mouse Trap by Kevin Yee
I absolutely loved this tell-all (well...mostly tell all) memoir from Kevin Yee about his time spent in the Mouse Trap of Disneyland. For anyone like me who has ever thought about working for Disney, this is a must-read, as he tells the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even with all of the beans spilled, reading this book made me want to work for Disney even more than I already do. Although, even though I tend to focus on only the good, I am aware that Yee's time with Disney was from 1987-2002 and that the general operations of WDE have most certainly changed. What I hope hasn't changed is how the Cast Members are treated from within the organization. Yee was lucky enough to work at a time when the memory of Walt and all that he wanted his theme parks to embody was alive and well, even amongst people who did not ever even know Walt personally. I know that, should I ever make my way to Orlando to work for Disney, this spirit may have dissipated a bit, but I hope it never completely fades. That would be a sad day, indeed.
Mouse Trap was a wonderful addition to my Disney non-fiction reads. Thank you, Kevin, for sharing your stories and for reminding me why Walt was such a special man.
Happy reading, everyone!
-Dodie
Mouse Trap was a wonderful addition to my Disney non-fiction reads. Thank you, Kevin, for sharing your stories and for reminding me why Walt was such a special man.
Happy reading, everyone!
-Dodie
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
#14: The Comfort of Lies by Randy Susan Meyers
I have been addicted to this book for two days. I couldn't read it fast enough and my regular life was getting in the way of reading, which as any avid reader knows is very frustrating. I even found that reading during commercials was not enough reading, so the TV was turned off for two days while I devoured this book. It's perfect for a beach bag or for a couple of days by the pool over the summer. Perfect!
The Comfort of Lies is the story of several characters: Tia, Nathan, Juliette, Caroline, Peter and Savannah/Honor. Their individual stories become very intertwined as the story evolves and by the end you can't remember where one story started and another ended. In fact the last two sentences of the book are: They were all connected. And in the oddest way, they had all become a family. So very true.
While you would not think that a book entitled The Comfort of Lies would be a reassuring story in any way, I feel oddly calm and at peace with my little life after having read this book. Tia, Juliette, and Caroline, the main female characters in this book, are all searching to find happiness in their lives. Perhaps part of the reason I feel the way I do about this book, and perhaps why I literally have spent every free moment over the past two days reading this book, is because I too, have been searching for happiness in my life recently. Life is so complicated sometimes and often what others see through the little window that we show the world isn't the whole story. I feel certain that my neighbors, who barely even know my name (and most don't at all), see The Whitt's not as we are (in constant motion and hardly crossing paths) but as a typical family of four who happen to keep their yard neat and who change their garden flags with the seasons. The truth is, life is hard, and we often keep this to ourselves. It is so reassuring to know that other women grapple with happiness, too.
Last year, I quit my full-time teaching job after 19 years. I thought it would be easy to walk away from this work--the demanding parents, the absurd amount of paperwork, the amount of work I did beyond the school day, trying to juggle school and home. It all seemed to make sense. I'd stop teaching and focus on my family. I'd do the errands during the school week so that Rob and I wouldn't have to juggle them on the weekends. Weekends could be for relaxing and for spending time as a family. I'd get the laundry done and the house cleaned and life would be good. Except it didn't really turn out that way. I ended up taking a part time teaching job to regain the sanity I had lost in little spurts while spending each and every day over the summer cleaning a house that I wasn't even sure that I liked (we moved in July) now that it was ours. All of those weekends dedicated to family time never happened because my teenage girls had friends they would rather hang out with and Rob was either traveling or trying to relax by playing golf or just sitting on the sofa decompressing. Nothing really worked like we thought it would. I found myself alone. The girls had a life, Rob worked around the clock, and I was alone. And very unhappy.
And I felt guilty. Guilty beyond words. Millions of wives/mothers would kill for the chance to not work, or even to work part-time so that they could take care of their families. What was wrong with me that this wasn't enough? Why did the praise of those demanding parents and the notes and pictures from classrooms full of five year olds matter more to me than the love of my husband and girls? Simply put, because those demanding parents and sweet children told me that I mattered. My family just assumed that I did what I did because I liked it and never needed to thank me, or tell me that what I was doing was important. Honestly, it was no fun getting used to what I now term "The New Normal." But I think, after almost 10 months of living it, I can say that I am beginning to see the beauty in this new life. I am beginning to see what a privilege it is to take care of my family, to make them my true #1 priority, not a close second to school and schoolwork. It makes me happy, finally, to do this work. And I am looking forward to doing this new work for a long time to come.
As a result of this personal reflection, I totally understand and empathize with Caroline as she struggles to enjoy motherhood. I get her guilt. And I understand the feelings of Juliette and Tia, too, as they struggle to find happiness in their lives. Why is it that we, as women, can't be happy with the things that would have made June Cleaver or Samantha Stevens fall over with happiness? Did the feminist movement ruin motherhood and being a wife for all modern women? I think the truth is, you have to do what feels right for you what is right for your family and you have to be strong enough to stand up for your right to be and do those things. Juliette did. Caroline did. Tia did (although my heart broke for Bobby, who loved her so much and just wanted to make her happy). And so did I. I have finally found peace and comfort in my own home. I know the direction my life will take over the next few years as Rob, officially today the new Controller for Markel Corp, works at a job that I am more than happy to support him in and as the girls prepare to leave for college (sniff, sniff). I am glad that I have been given the chance to spend these precious few years left with my girls and will be forever grateful to my extremely hard working husband who has provided so well for us that we can afford for me to never work full-time ever again. This is a rare gift, indeed, and I will no longer see it as a curse, but as a blessing. Because that's what my life is: a blessing.
The Comfort of Lies will, in a nerve-wracking way, make those who are married terrified that one day their marriage will crumble, and will cause those who are not married to wish they were. The marriages described in this novel are not perfect, not by any means, yet the partners love each other so fully and so completely, that with every page I read, I was reminded of why I married Rob in the first place (what a great thing for a book to do--remind us why we love and want to be loved in return). Then, I read these words:
Without him, her stability was missing. Friends described feeling that way after their parents died, but Juliette never found comfort or constancy with her mother or father. Only with Nathan had she found an emotional home.
Only with Rob had I found an emotional home. And God bless him, I often am emotional at the exact moment he wants to sleep, or play golf, or go to out of town. But he is my stability. He keeps me grounded and keeps me calm. He is truly my better half and I can not imagine living a single day as anything but his wife. I will always believe in my heart and in my mind that my Dad sent Rob to me--that my life happened the way that it did so that I would end up meeting Rob and falling in love. Not at first, but eventually....deeply, and completely. He saved me. He truly saved me. And, because he is my stability, my rock, the one I depend on completely, when he travels and is away from home, I often can't function as I do when he is at home. I forget my strength when he is gone and I crumble. I see now that this is part of the unhappiness I felt this year. I am not happy when Rob isn't home. But, I am going to have to learn, because with his new job he will be away from home now more than ever. I think I will search for strength in knowing that he wants me to do this new work and that the girls need me to do this new work. I will be strong for my family and I will rejoice in the times when we are all together. As all good mothers do, we do what we have to do for our family. Caroline did. Juliette did. Tia did. And so will I.
Read this one. It's amazing. Truly amazing. Top Ten amazing.
Happy reading everyone!
:) Dodie
The Comfort of Lies is the story of several characters: Tia, Nathan, Juliette, Caroline, Peter and Savannah/Honor. Their individual stories become very intertwined as the story evolves and by the end you can't remember where one story started and another ended. In fact the last two sentences of the book are: They were all connected. And in the oddest way, they had all become a family. So very true.
While you would not think that a book entitled The Comfort of Lies would be a reassuring story in any way, I feel oddly calm and at peace with my little life after having read this book. Tia, Juliette, and Caroline, the main female characters in this book, are all searching to find happiness in their lives. Perhaps part of the reason I feel the way I do about this book, and perhaps why I literally have spent every free moment over the past two days reading this book, is because I too, have been searching for happiness in my life recently. Life is so complicated sometimes and often what others see through the little window that we show the world isn't the whole story. I feel certain that my neighbors, who barely even know my name (and most don't at all), see The Whitt's not as we are (in constant motion and hardly crossing paths) but as a typical family of four who happen to keep their yard neat and who change their garden flags with the seasons. The truth is, life is hard, and we often keep this to ourselves. It is so reassuring to know that other women grapple with happiness, too.
Last year, I quit my full-time teaching job after 19 years. I thought it would be easy to walk away from this work--the demanding parents, the absurd amount of paperwork, the amount of work I did beyond the school day, trying to juggle school and home. It all seemed to make sense. I'd stop teaching and focus on my family. I'd do the errands during the school week so that Rob and I wouldn't have to juggle them on the weekends. Weekends could be for relaxing and for spending time as a family. I'd get the laundry done and the house cleaned and life would be good. Except it didn't really turn out that way. I ended up taking a part time teaching job to regain the sanity I had lost in little spurts while spending each and every day over the summer cleaning a house that I wasn't even sure that I liked (we moved in July) now that it was ours. All of those weekends dedicated to family time never happened because my teenage girls had friends they would rather hang out with and Rob was either traveling or trying to relax by playing golf or just sitting on the sofa decompressing. Nothing really worked like we thought it would. I found myself alone. The girls had a life, Rob worked around the clock, and I was alone. And very unhappy.
And I felt guilty. Guilty beyond words. Millions of wives/mothers would kill for the chance to not work, or even to work part-time so that they could take care of their families. What was wrong with me that this wasn't enough? Why did the praise of those demanding parents and the notes and pictures from classrooms full of five year olds matter more to me than the love of my husband and girls? Simply put, because those demanding parents and sweet children told me that I mattered. My family just assumed that I did what I did because I liked it and never needed to thank me, or tell me that what I was doing was important. Honestly, it was no fun getting used to what I now term "The New Normal." But I think, after almost 10 months of living it, I can say that I am beginning to see the beauty in this new life. I am beginning to see what a privilege it is to take care of my family, to make them my true #1 priority, not a close second to school and schoolwork. It makes me happy, finally, to do this work. And I am looking forward to doing this new work for a long time to come.
As a result of this personal reflection, I totally understand and empathize with Caroline as she struggles to enjoy motherhood. I get her guilt. And I understand the feelings of Juliette and Tia, too, as they struggle to find happiness in their lives. Why is it that we, as women, can't be happy with the things that would have made June Cleaver or Samantha Stevens fall over with happiness? Did the feminist movement ruin motherhood and being a wife for all modern women? I think the truth is, you have to do what feels right for you what is right for your family and you have to be strong enough to stand up for your right to be and do those things. Juliette did. Caroline did. Tia did (although my heart broke for Bobby, who loved her so much and just wanted to make her happy). And so did I. I have finally found peace and comfort in my own home. I know the direction my life will take over the next few years as Rob, officially today the new Controller for Markel Corp, works at a job that I am more than happy to support him in and as the girls prepare to leave for college (sniff, sniff). I am glad that I have been given the chance to spend these precious few years left with my girls and will be forever grateful to my extremely hard working husband who has provided so well for us that we can afford for me to never work full-time ever again. This is a rare gift, indeed, and I will no longer see it as a curse, but as a blessing. Because that's what my life is: a blessing.
The Comfort of Lies will, in a nerve-wracking way, make those who are married terrified that one day their marriage will crumble, and will cause those who are not married to wish they were. The marriages described in this novel are not perfect, not by any means, yet the partners love each other so fully and so completely, that with every page I read, I was reminded of why I married Rob in the first place (what a great thing for a book to do--remind us why we love and want to be loved in return). Then, I read these words:
Without him, her stability was missing. Friends described feeling that way after their parents died, but Juliette never found comfort or constancy with her mother or father. Only with Nathan had she found an emotional home.
Only with Rob had I found an emotional home. And God bless him, I often am emotional at the exact moment he wants to sleep, or play golf, or go to out of town. But he is my stability. He keeps me grounded and keeps me calm. He is truly my better half and I can not imagine living a single day as anything but his wife. I will always believe in my heart and in my mind that my Dad sent Rob to me--that my life happened the way that it did so that I would end up meeting Rob and falling in love. Not at first, but eventually....deeply, and completely. He saved me. He truly saved me. And, because he is my stability, my rock, the one I depend on completely, when he travels and is away from home, I often can't function as I do when he is at home. I forget my strength when he is gone and I crumble. I see now that this is part of the unhappiness I felt this year. I am not happy when Rob isn't home. But, I am going to have to learn, because with his new job he will be away from home now more than ever. I think I will search for strength in knowing that he wants me to do this new work and that the girls need me to do this new work. I will be strong for my family and I will rejoice in the times when we are all together. As all good mothers do, we do what we have to do for our family. Caroline did. Juliette did. Tia did. And so will I.
Read this one. It's amazing. Truly amazing. Top Ten amazing.
Happy reading everyone!
:) Dodie
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