Life of Pi was recommended to me by a friend one day at the pool over the summer with one caution: get through the first 50 pages and you'll be hooked. Well, yesterday I was able to get through the first 130 pages of the book, and yes I am hooked. A bit bothered, but hooked.
Life of Pi grabs you early on by claiming to be a story that proves that there is a God. As someone who has searched her entire life for answers to religious questions, one of them being "How do we know for certain that there is a God?" I was all ready to read and to keep reading until this fact was proven to me. But, as I read, I am becoming more and more concerned that, once again, I am not going to get an answer. While I still have 200 pages left to read, the book, for now anyway, seems way more scientific than religious. It seems to be all about animals and how they (humans included) survive. Seems more like science to me, unless you argue that God created the animals, which I am sure some of you would. I guess after I read the next 200 pages I will know for sure.
So, today I am reading during lunch, as I often do, andI literally had to put my lunch away while I was reading a horrific description of a hyena gutting and eating a zebra. Now, let's put this into context for a minute. I was raised on a farm, seeing things happen to animals that are just part of life. You kill the cow to get hamburger, you shoot the horse when it's in pain to put it out of it's misery. I have seen a grown man's entire arms inside a cow while helping it birth a calf. I am not afraid, nor put off, by normal animal life events. It's just a part of life. But, today, this book crossed the line for me with animals and yet instead of putting the book away, I stopped eating. I had to...what I was reading was making me sick, and yet I couldn't stop reading. It was like a train wreck, and yet on I read...minus my lunch. I am wondering if the difference was because the animals in question were wild (zoo animals, but still wild by nature) animals, as compared with the cows, chickens, and horses of my childhood. Or was it the reality that animals can kill and will kill? Or was it just simply that the description was so vivid that I had to turn away? Maybe it was a combination of all three points. Regardless, I am not too eager to return to the book. I am afraid of what I might read next. Afterall, there's a man and an orangutan in a boat along with the hyena and the zebra. Oh, and a tiger. Did I forget to mention that there's a tiger too? I can't even imagine what's going to happen over the next 200 pages. Maybe I should not read during lunch tomorrow. I can certainly understand now why several of my friends shared with me that Life of Pi was too much for them and they either never read it at all or stopped in the middle. I get it...I do. But, I will keep reading. Just maybe not during lunch anymore. UGH...
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I finished the book today, ironically during lunch. I left feeling deflated and jipped. Totally jipped.
I've already had this conversation twice today, once with Kathleen who was so bothered by the events of the book not moving fast enough for her that she stopped reading it, and once with Pam, who had read the book, but long enough ago that I had to remind her of the ending. I wish I could tell you the ending, but that would ruin it so I won't. I will say that the ending cleared up some things for me, but it did not get rid of the white elephant in the room. Nope. Not at all. That's why I feel cheated. Life of Pi promised me a story that would prove that there is a God. That did not happen. Instead, I got a story about a man on a boat with a tiger for 7 months. I have learned more about hyenas than I ever care to know and even read about a man who ate tiger poop because he was so hungry. But, at no point did I read anything to prove to me that there is, in fact, a God.
Now, my good friend Pam acknowledged this fact, too, but asked me if perhaps that the omission is the truth. Perhaps. Is the story itself enough to prove that there is a God? Because it is truly amazing and wonderful. It is a story of the power of one man, actually a teenager, a 16 year old boy, whose strength of character and will to live is tested 24 hours a day for 7 long months. Perhaps. But, if you are going to be bold enough to say that you are telling me a story that proves the existence of God, well then you better speak up when it's time and say "Here it is. Here' s the proof!" and then lay it out. There was even the perfect opportunity on page 326 during a discussion about love and feelings and how we believe what we see and we have a hard time believing what we don't see, but God was never mentioned. So, I feel a bit let down. I feel like I was set up to get some earth shattering amazing news and didn't get it. But, I think deep down I never expected to. I mean, can anyone really prove that God exists?
So, instead what I am left with is a truly gut wrenching story of one man's fight for life under conditions that I could never imagine. This book was hard to read at times and confusing during others. A few times I laughed out loud and a few times I couldn't help but exclaim, "Ew! Gross!" but Life of Pi will be for me be one of those books that I carry with me for the rest of my days. It will be in the back of my mind as a reminder of how hard life could really be--I could be on a boat with a tiger after losing my entire family. All alone. And, it will make me wonder every day how hard I would fight to stay alive when confronted with obstacles, or with death staring me in the face. I will never be as strong as Pi. I don't know what he knew to keep me alive for 7 months in the Pacific. I probably would not have lasted 7 minutes on that boat with Richard Parker (that's the tiger--funny name for a tiger, huh?). But, even knowing that if he made it off the boat that his family was gone and that he was all alone in the world, his life was so precious and he was so grateful for it, he fought daily to survive and he never lost hope. He believed in God. It was God's strength that pulled him through. Maybe Pam's right. Maybe just the simple fact that Pi survived is proof enough that God exists. He exists for Pi, anyway. Maybe it didn't need to be said as explicitly as I had hoped. Or maybe it should've been clear enough that I didn't need to question it at all. Hmm...things to ponder.
One last note for this book before I close the cover and move on to a more mindless read. At one point in the story a major event occurs, one that almost had me crying because it was just so darn sad. I won't share the event, but will share several lines from the book that have touched me personally. "It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse. That bungled goodbye hurts me to this day." Sadly, I have a few of those goodbyes that hurt me to this day. Saying goodbye is important in life, and goodbyes should be said in ways that you won't regret later. There are two goodbyes in my life that I wish I could go back in time and say again properly. But, since I don't have Hermione's time turner, I am stuck in the real world wishing I could say things that I never got the chance to say. My heart is heavy with remorse and it's hard to let things go, even many years after the fact.
So, to sum up this very long blog...Life of Pi was a VERY worthwhile read. I am a better person for reading it and after sorting through my thoughts via the written word and through my conversation with Pam, I am no longer mad at the book nor do I feel cheated. In fact, I feel quite lucky to be who I am, where I am, with all that I have. And lucky that I do not, in fact, have a tiger or own a zoo.
Happy reading!
:) Dodie
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